Ask Mads anything—answering your questions and giving advice with all the wisdom of a broke English major.

A Student’s Guide To Breakups and The Constitution

Q: Dear Mads- How do you end a relationship without hurting your partner? – Elizabeth M.

A: There is no easy way to end a relationship with someone you care about. The best thing you can do is be honest and patient. As soon as you know it’s over, it’s time to talk to your partner because I guarantee they will know something is not right. Putting it off will only make them uneasy (and maybe resentful). When you finally do sit down to talk (for example, in the Chick-fil-a parking lot after your shift…) it’s time to take a deep breath and lay it all out—all the good and all the bad. Let them know that you care about them and this is really hard for you but it’s not working out. Make sure to let them know why it isn’t working out because nothing is worse than wondering what you did wrong. Make it clear that you’re open to conversation later because it will probably take your partner some time to process. But maybe they’ll have questions right away, and you just have to grit your teeth and answer them as honestly as possible because the people you love deserve the truth. That’s what people tend to cling to during breakups: answers. Maybe it’s so we can grow or maybe it’s just because all we can think to do is ask questions. Either way, breakups are easier to swallow when all of your questions have been answered. I hate to tell you this but… it’s going to hurt. Both you and your partner.  Breaking up with someone is almost never easy, especially when you care about them, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and the two of you had something you needed to learn from this whole experience. I also firmly believe that if something in you is telling you it’s over or that something isn’t right, you should listen. You can do this.

Q: Dear Mads- If one amendment is under question, then should all of the amendments be under question? – Logan F.

A: I don’t think there’s any harm in reading the Constitution with a fresh set of eyes and asking some questions. After all, for 78 years the Three Fifths Clause was in our Constitution, declaring that (at least Congressionally speaking) African American slaves counted as 3/5 of a person. So obviously, we’re not perfect and we never have been, the same goes for our Constitution. That’s not exclusive to the United States though, it’s just human nature. Those who are very proud of our country sometimes get so caught up in defending the Constitution, that they are unable to see its faults. Love is blind, after all. However, there’s an extreme in the other direction as well. Some get so caught up in our country’s faults that they are unable to see what is good and honorable. It is very possible (and completely reasonable) to love this country while still acknowledging its flaws. It’s foolish to pretend that this country or our constitution or our laws or any other part of the system is perfect because each aspect was crafted by human beings—and we’ll be flawed forever. There is no perfect answer and there is never a simple black and white solution. Our country was founded by a room full of middle aged white men, which may seem like a “liberal” thing to say, but it isn’t. It’s simply fact. Our country is bursting with diversity—not just in race and ethnicity, but gender and age and sexuality and religious affiliations. I’m thankful for the men who fought for our freedom in a world, long ago that had almost none. But, our world is different now. It’s up to us choose our battles, to continue to ask tough questions, and even to step aside when we’ve been proven wrong.

Send your questions to askmads101@gmail.com.

Featured Image from Tenor.com